My house is quiet this crisp Sunday morning in January. No boys to wake up. No arguments over who uses their shower first or who needs to hurry up and move. My husband is off to church meetings before our regular meetings and I find myself alone in our empty nest.
One son left in August for a mission in Florida.
The other son joined the Air Force Reserves and is away at training.
We are really only alone, alone until April when the Air Force son comes home, but still . . . they have grown up and moved on. Things will never be the same.
I blinked and they were adults. Gulp.
I still see them as little guys.
It's hard to let go of that image, but they deserve the respect. My parents gave me tons of respect (and trust) when they let me go to BYU, even when I was making mistakes constantly. They kept telling me I could do it. Don't give up.
So I give my boys the same advice. I give them that same respect and trust and lots of love (and tears). I pray for them every day. I worry too, but I hear that is normal. I trust that we have raised them into good young men. Sure, they'll make mistakes. Some big, some small. But overall we are so proud of them. I am so proud of them. They are good people. The kind of people I want to know and be related to.
My husband reminds me at least once a week (when I'm melting down about missing the boys) that it's my time now to do things I have wanted to do, but couldn't or wouldn't, because the boys came first. He's right.
I thought it over and decided to take a (super hard, intensive) class for work. It sucks, but it's the challenge that I needed right now. I ordered meal kits to stretch my cooking skills and bring in some new recipes just for 2! (Do you know how hard it is to cook for just 2?) I am meditating, reading more, writing (this blog and in my journals), and of course exercising more. I find myself carving out time for word finds and learning Italian each day. I'm digging into the Book of Mormon and reading more each day than I ever have before.
It's been a life changing, life growing, life altering experience; a roller coaster of sorts. I still wouldn't trade any of it for the world.
Corrina L. Terry, © January 2019