Sunday, December 26, 2010


The hubby and I had brunch with my ex and his fiancee the other day. My son, J, had been visiting my ex for a week for Christmas. It was "the exchange" where we meet up to drop off or pick up J.

I was a nervous wreck. I ordered the wrong croissant, couldn't vocalize what I wanted to order and looked to my hubby for help. He looked at me like I'd lost my mind, but when I explained to him I was kinda freaking out, he graciously stepped in, ordered for me, and took care of things. He is amazing.

I'd met the fiancee before, but only briefly. Now that they were planning on marrying and she would be a permanent fixture in J's life, I had to do the face-to-face. They were the ones who asked us to meet for lunch, so they felt the same way. (I've been told by a therapist it's a good thing to do this for the kids if you and the ex get along well enough and won't end up in a screaming match.)

His fiancee is darling---fun, happy, smart, well-spoken, educated. He got lucky (again) to find such an incredible woman. She loves J and spoke highly of him. J (sitting there beaming) loved it. I was happy too. Nothing warms a mother's heart more than someone praising her child.

As my hubby and I sat across from them talking and (trying) to eat, I looked at my ex. He's happy---happier than I've seen him in years. That's a good thing for him and for J.

Every once in a while I have an epiphany that manifests itself in an auditory way. It's hard to explain, but looking at my ex I heard a really large door clang shut. It was over, really over, for me. I had no further feelings for him (other than hoping he'll be a good dad when J sees him) and our 12 1/2 year marriage together felt light years away, on another planet even. He was a stranger to me sitting there. I would barely recognize or notice him in a crowd and I was relieved.

I looked at my hubby sitting next to me and felt a warmth in my heart for our marriage and love. The feeling you get when someone you care about hugs you is the feeling I get being married to my hubby. He's good. He's strong. He's happy (most of the time). He's smart. He's brave. He's funny. He's sexy. We have an equal partnership in our marriage that I never had before.

My heart was lighter after hearing that door shut. And it all started with brunch.

Corrina Terry 2010
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  1. Lovely piece of writing! So glad to know Taran is doing better. I'm so jealous that you've been able to close the door on the past, and hope you and your hubby have a very, very happy eternal marriage! You've done well!

  2. Sounds like an awkward situation, but I'm glad that it turned out well, for all of you!

  3. What a wonderful moment for both of you. I am so happy that you have found a peaceful place and a loving marriage and that Taran is happy again. I hope someday to find myself in that same place in my life.

  4. I'm glad it was a good experience. Being responsible for the children affected is one of the bravest actions! And (so not grammatically correct) I'm glad you have someone now who is your equal in all ways! :)

  5. Sometimes the things you dread most in life turn out to be the most rewarding for reasons you did not foresee. I love how this made you more appreciative of your own husband.

  6. I felt as if, through your words, i could really feel this post.
    things work out.
    what a blessing.

  7. Glad you are in good hands! :)

    PS: Remind me to ask you a question when I see you again (don't want to post it here)...