The last week or two I have been feeling overwhelmed by life, by burdens, by callings, and by responsibilities. I worked smarter, got more sleep, ate right, exercised, etc., and still nothing changed. This overwhelming feeling of drowning in problems began to affect my attitude towards life. I felt that I would never find peace from the struggle and opposition of day-to-day stresses. I looked around and all I could see were problems---from the government down to my family and myself.
As I drove home from work one day last week, I was in tears. My students in my last class that day had been awful, I was feeling like a failure as a teacher, and I couldn't get anyone on my cell phone to talk to. (I usually call my husband and my mom on my commute home from work every day to check in and catch up on things.)
It suddenly occurred to me that while I was panicking to talk to someone in my family, I hadn't called the Lord. I had been depending on my own strength for several weeks and while I had been praying at every meal and at our nightly family prayers, I had not sat down and prayed to the Lord like I used to for a while.
I sat in my car at a light and poured my heart out to Him. I didn’t care who saw me or what they thought. Through that prayer I felt inspired to love my students and look for the good in them. Things that were looming in my mind as huge problems suddenly became distant specks. The world took on a new look; even the commercial part of Charleston Avenue I was driving on looked brighter and cleaner.
I realized that the adversary had been “helping” me see the worst in everything and everyone. I was beginning to change into a person I wasn’t happy with and decided then and there that I would fight it, no matter what.
As I drove home from work one day last week, I was in tears. My students in my last class that day had been awful, I was feeling like a failure as a teacher, and I couldn't get anyone on my cell phone to talk to. (I usually call my husband and my mom on my commute home from work every day to check in and catch up on things.)
It suddenly occurred to me that while I was panicking to talk to someone in my family, I hadn't called the Lord. I had been depending on my own strength for several weeks and while I had been praying at every meal and at our nightly family prayers, I had not sat down and prayed to the Lord like I used to for a while.
I sat in my car at a light and poured my heart out to Him. I didn’t care who saw me or what they thought. Through that prayer I felt inspired to love my students and look for the good in them. Things that were looming in my mind as huge problems suddenly became distant specks. The world took on a new look; even the commercial part of Charleston Avenue I was driving on looked brighter and cleaner.
I realized that the adversary had been “helping” me see the worst in everything and everyone. I was beginning to change into a person I wasn’t happy with and decided then and there that I would fight it, no matter what.
Tonight I was catching up on my Ensign reading and wouldn’t you know it? The August 2009 issue has an excellent article about prayer, by Elder Yoshihiko Kikuchi, on page 34. If I had read this magazine in August, as I was prompted to, it might have helped my outlook then. That was right about the time I went back to school for the year. If you haven’t read it, try it. http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=8bbe15e67b5b2210VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
Maybe it will help you. Have a great week!
I love Elder Kikuchi! I had the opportunity to listen to him at a regional conference when I was visiting in Georgia a couple of years ago. Truly inspiring.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder about prayer! I often get so caught up in the prayers I almost give by writ, with my children, that I forget to have an honest and open conversation with the Lord.
I love your blog Corrina! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI, too have had a crappy week, no, month. I've been looking and reminding myself all the reasons why I'm undeserving of friendship and support. It's been hideous. Finally, I went to the temple last week and truly, for the first time in weeks, felt the Lord's love for me.
ReplyDeleteAlso, while blog reading, I came across a post about some of Julie Beck's thoughts about LDS women: (did you read the link I emailed you?)...it boils down to these points:
1. Pray for miracles every morning. Recognize and give thanks for them every night.
2. We impose things on ourselves that the Lord would never impose.
3. We have 3 shifts of the day: morning, afternoon and evening. We can't work all 3 shifts in a day.
But we can decide where we are needed the most and conserve our energy for that shift.
Here's to brighter days and more prayer...Love you!!
Thanks for sharing your inspiration. It's exactly what I need right now too.
ReplyDeleteLove it. Thank you for that. I've been feeling that way too...
ReplyDelete